Monthly Archives: October 2006

what not to do

You should never forget your pin when you are out with kids, hungry and broke.

That is exactly what I did last week, I used my card the day before so it shouldn’t have been that hard, but it was.  I walked up to the machine thinking

“Shit what is the pin”

Not a good start, I should have done was walk away and think  about it, what I did do was to type number combinations that “seemed” familiar,  now nationwide has my card and the kids got some of Wills vegimite sandwiches and veggies to eat on the way home.

And I still can’t remember my bloody  pin.


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My cup runeth over

Will is very affectionate……if he wants a boobie, otherwise he’ll kiss you only if he wants something.


He just ran up to me and said

“Here mum you need a kiss”

I got the biggest kiss from pursed lips that reminded me of my nan.  When we kissed her she didn’t like “kisses like a cats  bum”

which meant really pursed lips, well I just got 3 and I thought that they were the best kisses this kid has ever dished out.

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Quotes by Riley

Mark while watching Walking With Dinosaurs

” See the dinosaurs there, they are walking on small plants, grass wasn’t around when the dinosaurs where here.”

” So was there grass when you were a kid, coz your pretty old?”

We live in a semi detached house, the detached part has a garage so there is no access to our back yard from the street, got that, o.k.

Riley while looking out the window to the car turned and said

” Mum, if we try really hard do you think we could get the car in the back yard”

” Are old photos black and white, or was color not invented yet??”

By that he doesn’t mean photo color he means color in the world

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positive vibes on Friday the 13th

A bunch of us from our Home ed group went to LegolandWindsor, Yesterday, after Mark saying it will take around 1 1/2 by tube,train,bus, zeppelin,etc, it took 3 HOURS, bloody hell 3 hours, travelling with 3 hyper boys, full to the brim with excitement and anticipation of spending the day with friends in a theme park. The trip there was long and arduous. When we finally got to Windsor a lovely mum with a not so lovely toddler ( the kind that is a bit on the chubby side squashed into a stroller, and spits and says “f***” alot ” walked us down to where the shuttle bus stops, wishing us a good day she turned herself and child into the closest McDonald’s.

We realised we missed the shuttle by 5 minutes, and spent the next 25 minutes with the boys trying to scale a blue-stone wall, and sword fighting with invisible swords and Will as spider man shooting his web at passers by. I feel I am a good parent because I have mastered the art of invisibility when out with the boys, I have also mastered the look that says, ” they aren’t really mine you know ”

Anyway after all the fun we they were having I was very happy to see the shuttle come round the bend, that was till I saw the price of the shuttle , £3.50 one way. I looked at the side and at the driver and said,

” is that the real price ”

” Sure is love”

” Oh my God, How far is it to walk”

” Ha ha, look seein’ as your the only one here give us a fiver and we’ll call it even”

” A fiver each for the return ??”

” Na a fiver all up, I’ll remember your face and I’m the only driver so you wont have to worry”

” Thank you so much.”

We handed over our money and sat feeling relieved, that we are nearly there. The next stop around 30 people were waiting, the driver looked at us in the rear view and said

” ya lucky love, I wouldn’t have been able to do that if you were at this stop ”

See 2 positive things on Friday 13th, I sat there saying a silent prayer to God,Angels, mother earth and any Deity i could think of.

As soon as we walked in the gate the boys bolted, while I screamed

Will and I walked around for 1 hour going on rides and looking at Lego and looking for the boys who have also developed invisibility powers of there own.

We all met for lunch ( minus kids over the age of 5 ) and spent the rest of the afternoon strolling around the park talking about life, babies, breastfeeding, and bikini lines.

With a strict order of

1. stay in a group

2. meet at 4:30pm at the front

Riley managed to run off from the group sending us all into a panic because NO ONE could find him. He finally amble up the hill at 5:20, the last shuttle is at 5:30 so by the time we walked out the gate there was a few minutes to spare and 50+ people waiting for the shuttle.

The long journey was made slightly bearable by travelling with a friend for most of it. on the last tube we had to get of so Will could wee and jump back on the next one where the boys promptly fell asleep for the hour long journey. Riley woke up very easy, because he fell of the seat , his body felt revived from his power nap, Erik on the other hand would not wake up, I was standing there giving him a shake and a nudge when he opened his eyes said “hi” stood walked down the other end of the carriage and went back to sleep now we were spread out through out the carriage. I managed to get everyone of the train and stumbling to the bus stop, Will was sound asleep in the pram wrapped in a coat, we waited around 2 minutes ( see another positive ) Erik fell straight back to sleep a the back of the bus like a vagrant, so I grabbed him and made him stand up just before our stop to wake up.

When we walked in Erik, for reasons known only to himself in the land of nod, lit all the candels in the conservatory and went to bed.

Will stayed asleep and woke this morning in bed, looked around and exclaimed

” It’s morning time! How did we get here”

I want to be 3 and have that happen to me.

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We, Will, decided we would make a cake, no problem, HAH

Will loves cooking and he really helps, we had just put the sugar in and it was time for a teaspoon of salt, when I saw that the lawnmower man turned up to get his money.  I stood there talking as I thought he was going away for 4 weeks not 4 days, a mix up on some level of our brief talks.  When I remembered Will was still in the kitchen, closed the door, ran back to see Will methodically spooning salt into the cake mix, realising we didn’t have anymore sugar I thought we would try to “save ” the mix, I added the water and oil, had a taste,

hmmmm it tasted like the ocean ,

not a triumph, I would have to say.

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catch up

It has been ages since I have blogged ( sorry mum) but here we go, 2 weeks condensed….

on Monday ( 2ndOctober) Logan went to history group and the boys and I went shopping, we got home in time to bolt lunch down and rush out the door, redressing Will only took a few minutes..a new record, to get to the orthodontist, after waiting an agonising 20 minutes for a bus that is supposed to come every 10 minutes we got to the change over stop, and got to the next town with no problems. The problem came when we had to look for the surgery.

The bus stop is at an extremely busy intersection with a huge round about in the middle. Now most people I know, know that my sense of direction is shocking so seeing the signs that pointed to a subway did not fill me with confidence, I had a mini map on me and pointed the boys in the direction we needed to go, down we went. There is something about underground tunnels that turn the boys from able bodies pedestrians to screeching manic chimps, jumping and cartwheeling through the tunnel scaring the old and infirm, I say this with love in my heart, but the boys sometimes act as to what nightmares are made of. They are the distant scream in the dark, the thundering of feet when there is no body there, they can make the hairs on the back of your neck stand on end. all this in the subway, what a day.

Anyway, where was I……. Oh yes, when we got into the subway, there were 6 exits all with street names that were not on my map, I looked at the map, turned it around, turned it back, looked of into the distance to see Riley spinning upside down on one of those barriers and decided to follow them. That lead us right under the major intersection, after asking a Bus driver ( I don’t think he even knew what suburb he was in) and a minicab firm ( and I quote ” I drive you there, only 2 minutes, £5) I found the street and the surgery. By this time I was convinced we had missed our appointment, I have to start wearing a watch, there was no body there, not even at the front desk, we are standing there looking for a clock when we hear a toilet flush. Will yells out in his high pitched ducky voice

” Did she do a POO or a WEE mum, is she stinky ? did she wash her hands?? mum, mum , muuuuuum, did she poo”

A girl who looked like she was going to self com-bust she was that red, looked at us and said

“DA surgery is closed for lunch”

me: “oh we have an appointment I thought we were late.”

girl: ” it is 1:30″

We were 45 minutes early, we are only early when is isn’t appropriate.

girl: ” here fill this out, what your name?”

me : its Erik Bishop

girl:” No Erik Bishop today”


me: ” Yes Erik today, ( by now I have a slight Russian accent) look here is our letter.

girl: ” hm, let me look, what his date of birth??”

I told her

girl : ” there is mistake, his appointment is on 30th October”

me: ” NO, the letter says today see………..2nd at 2:15″

girl: ” The letter is wrong”

me: ” Your kidding, it took us an hour to get here and now you are telling me the letter is wrong. ”

By now I am sweating, stressed and Will is screaming,

“There are no toys here, where are we, it sucks, I need to POO now mum”

me : ” Look can we use the toilet

Will is by now withering around on the floor crying ” My butt hurts the poo is comin’ ”

and could you please explain the mix up and see if we can be squeezed in.”

girl : ” I see.”

Will spent the next 10 minutes in the toilet singing and talking.

When we came back in the room, she said he would see us considering it was not our fault.


Erik’s mouth was x-ray photographed and measured, at the end we were told he needs braces ( yep we knew that, that’s why we were there ) but not yet, he still has a heap of baby teeth. When I told him we had come to register so he would be on the waiting list, I was told he can’t go on it for another 12 months. What a waste of a day.

Tuesday 3rd October


The boys gave me a surprise party for breakfast this morning and it was truly lovely.   They had candles in the conservatory, balloons flowers, chocolate and cake, they put some lovely music on ( their kind of lovely music not mine).  They did it in the morning as they (again them not me)had a very busy day planned.  Mark agreed to take the afternoon off work so we could go out for lunch while the 3 older ones went to history/Latin group.  WE are always late for everything, but this time we were 30 minutes early for group and there was NO ONE there to witness it, the second time this week I’m early and I can’t celebrate.  Once people started turning up I took Will jumped back on the tube and got to Marks work at just the right time.  Only to be told Mark was running late.  We finally made it to a market to go to the Moroccan cafe they have there and a wonder around.  it was nice and chilled out until I looked at the time and realised we would have to fly to get to the kids in time, flying wasn’t an option so we took a  cab.  mark went to visit a friend and I hung out with the kids while they played.  Met Mark and decided to go into town, I still hadn’t bought a birthday present with the money my mum sent and I was not going home empty handed.  After 2 hours of shopping with 3 angry kids ( Logan went to a friends house) I got 2 books and a couple of tops, not very exiting I know but what the hey. Tomorrow will be bliss no going out.

Wednesday  4th October

AHHHH BLISS at home, No we were meant to go to a friends house but Will refused to get dressed and was too busy screaming, after a quick email they offered to come over here.  Erik went out to a  friends house so Riley and J had a great day, they didn’y leave till around 7pm and we can’t wait to do it again.  Logan came home from P house with the sniffles and looked a little like she had died in the last 24 hours.  Erik was sleeping over at his friends house,  the 3 kids went to bed very early, and left Mark and I staring at a huge empty kids size space in the lounge.

Thursday 5th October

I hate Thursdays.  Logan refused to go to group, even to the point of crying on the phone while talking to her friend.  So we left her at home and went to group, group is busy, you either love it or hate it, I mostly hate it because Will hates being there, he cries, is clingy, throws tantrums.  This week it wasn’t so bad, I saw light at the end of the tunnel.  Will finally left my side to play, 15 minutes before we needed to leave.  The boys went to Drama and really enjoyed it, I am hoping Logan will go next week.  Then the fun started, Thee boys had to run to the station so they would get to Mark on time for dinner before cadets, it was pouring and Will had to walk AND jump in all the puddles, by the time we got to the station he was wet up to his knees and down to his shoulders.  so in the middle of a packed tube I had to strip him off and wrap him in my cardigan.  We got home around 6ish.

The boys finishes cadets and missed the bus, or the bus came earlier that normal, not sure which, they ended up waiting 50 minutes in the cold for a bus.   Erik now had the same look Logan had yesterday, he was asleep within  15 minutes.

Friday 6 th October

The boys have been invited to a friends house, considering they are on the same tube  line I decided to let them go by themselves and call them when they get to the stop.

Problem number One:

20 minutes after they left I went to ring Riley’s phone only to find out it wasn’t working GRRRRRR, There was something up with the new Sim card.

Problem number Two

I called Erik’s phone and said Riley’s wasn’t working, which they both knew, so I said  to Erik I will text the number to you so you can ring when you get to the station, but Erik has no credit, Riley has credit but no working Sim.


I rang their friend in a bit of a panic, thinking I’ll have to get dressed  ( Noooooooooooo) and go find them.  That was until smart, sensible J said she would just keep ringing Erik’s phone till he answered it.  What a champ.

The boys had a great day but did forget to come home when they were meant to.  Mark afwas left  waiting in the underground for 20 minutes then went back up to ring them to see how long they would be, only to find out they had “forgotten ” to leave, they got home well after they are allowed to and I don’t think they will be doing that again……..well for awhile anyway.

Saturday 7 th October

sniff sniff, i have the flu

and a temperature too

This week.

Will is the only one not to get sick at the moment, even Mark had 2 days off work, he had

” man flu” not normal flu like the rest of us.


Will is starting to get the sniffles and slept for 3 hours today, I am sooo over the flu in more ways than one.

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