Monthly Archives: November 2006

Logan

Logan turned 14 this week and I feel older than I did this time last week, much older. I have started reading Sense of self: Listening to Homeschooled Girls by Susannah Sheffer The first page got my mind ticking over, it is abut the changes that take place in girls in the 14-16 year age bracket and how hard it is to stay true to themselves.  That was in relation to teen girls in the school system, but it does make me think about what Logan might try to hide hoping that we will be more ” Accepting ” of her.   Don’t get me wrong we don’t put down her choices, of clothes, hair, music etc, but I wonder if there are things going on she doesn’t tell me. 

The kids at group have that school yard mentality even though a lot of them haven’t gone to school.  One of the boys has a real punk hair do with pink streaks in it, all the other boys took one look at it and pronounced him a gay guy that will get mugged??? WTF.  Erik got called gay because he dresses nice, not in big baggy black hoodies with a scowl on his face,  I have heard a rumour that Logan is a lesbian because she sleeps over at her friends house and doesn’t have a boyfriend.
So how do you know if they are being true to themselves, or even us ?? how do we know that when they say they are happy they aren’t really crying their eyes out during the night.  Kids know that there are some things you keep from your parents,I know this is a bit of a rant but I chose to home educate to show them the way the world works, and at the momet I am not liking what I have to show them.
Now about me, I have been knitting like a demon lately and have so far made myself an Alpaca cardigan, Will a hat with ear flaps and matching mittens, a pair of stripey socks and Logan a pair of fingerless gloves, at the moment I am knitting Will a cable jumper out of a cashmere/merino wool blend and it is heaven to touch, I am using the same wool just a different colour to knitt Eddy a jumper. Every spare minute is used to knit at the moment.
I need the therapy of knitting to calm me down, The kids still haven’t heard from their dad and Ed is still angry. I think it is due to his dads lack of caring plus a testosterone surge thanks to the wonderful world of puberty, I thought it was hard with Logan but that was a walk in the park compared to what I am going through with Ed. Now I never smack the kids but the other day I was scared that I was going to throw him through a wall, thank god he went out because what I felt inside really scared me.
I have explained to the wonderful Ed, he has decided to try knitting to see if it helps calm him, hmmm, so far it is not working and he has a version of punk rock knitting going on, it goes like this.
Knit,knit,knit
AAARRRRRR
WHAT IS GOING ON IT LOOKS LIKE A KNOT ON THE NEEDLE
( now ed throws the knitting across the room and storms out screaming)
KNITTING IS SHIT
20 minutes later
Mum can you fix my mistakes
Well Ed I could but when you threw your needles all the stitches came off, so why don’t you pick it up and try and put it back on the needles.
( after picking it up)
WHAT IS GOING ON WHAT ARE STITCHES AND WHAT IS KNITTING
SO far he is angrier than he was before he started, great.
But
He has down several inches of knitting that looks a bit wonky but I have a very proud boy. so proud that he is planning his next project which is something for me.

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Boys

last week Riley and Will stuck everything they could find in my room on the walls with sticky tape, I mean everything, undies, pillows, toys, everything.  After giving Riley the lecture of him being the  big brother it was up to him to tell will no if I’m not there ( I was only down stairs, not a million miles away)

Tonight Mark has brought home double sided tape and is helping Will stick several  Action men ( the greatest hero of them all) on the lounge walls.

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Hat

I just made Logan a hat out of angora wool I found at an Oppy the other week. It is purple and black and goes great with her pink hair ( the same hair I swore she wouldn’t dye again).  So little education was done in this house as I was too busy keeping well hidden so I could knit.  Will did run in shouting

” Look mum I have a bum hole”

great.

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Just remembered

The other night when we went out we had to stop for petrol, Mark and I got out to have a natter at the pump ( as you do) when Will yelled out what I thought was

” I need to wee”

I looked around for something to wee on, found it, opened the van door to grap him out,

Will:”Why do I have to get out the car ?”

Me : ” You need to wee and you can’t do that in the van”

Will:” No, I said I need a Beer”

hmm like father like son

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Thursday

After a morning with Erik at his finest I took Will and Riley to group after telling Erik he can turn up later if he wants to, I knew we needed a bit of time apart before there was blood shed.  He turned up 1 hour later and gave me a hug told me he loved me and went to hang out with his friends( at 11 they don’t “play” anymore, they “hang out” ) Will slept for 2 1/2 hours and then got up ate, had a wee and took off running to play with his friends.  Group has become a pleasure to go to now that he doesn’t scream for the first hour we get there, he is slowly starting to build up a list of places he is happy to go, we now have Group, Marks work , Tesco and the newsagents down the hill, I am feeling less house bound.

At 5:30 I dragged the boys away so they could get to cadets on time, when we were nearly at Marks work Will announced to the Whole train he needed to Poo now, we got some alarmed looks and a few people inched away thinking he was filling his pants as he spoke. So we jumped off and headed in.  The crowd was so thick that I lost Riley and thinking he forged ahead I just kept walking.  When we got to the front desk at Marks work but  security said Riley had already gone up, but seems as the desk just closed we had to go next door to get in.  By this time I’m starting to get worried that Mark hasn’t come down to get us, if he knows Riley’s here he knows we are too.  Just as I was arguing with security,  for some reason when I said

“I’m here to see Mark S*, I’m his wife”,

 he heard

 ” I’m here for the function, is there childcare??”

Then Mark walked around the corner , minus Riley.

SHIT SHIT SHIT

At the same time  a guy opened the door saying there was a blonds girl looking for her dad

Riley

He had gotten stuck in the crowd as well but being a good boy stayed there looking for us instead of walking off, like I did.

The boys got to Cadets on time, and  Mark and I caught the bus home with a very awake Will.  After some wind down time I lay Will down to sleep, only I fell asleep and he got back up to watch T.V. with Mark.  I think he staggered up to bed around 10:30

I have also volunteered ( gulp) to take charge of our groups Library.  We have books everywhere, and have no idea where they are or what we have.  Mark and I are going to do a catalogue so we know what we have and what we want to get, But it seems we have bitten off more than we can chew, I was told some books were at someones house but when I talked to them they had NO idea what I was talking about.   I was told we have hundreds of books, great, where are they?? no one knows.  Lucky Mark likes to drive around, because I think we will be doing a bit of it for the next few weekends

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Erik the teacher

Erik is trying to teach Will to say

SUPERCALAFRAGALISTICEPEALADOSHOUS 9 or how ever it’s spelt

Erik is breaking it all down and trying to get Will to say it Wills first responce was

“I already said it Eddy didn’y you hear me”

the second time Eddy got

” I’m trying Eddy but I’m only 3″

the third

” I’m too tired now, I’m going to read on the toilet”

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It gets better

Erik had another explosive day , half way through it he exploded

“I hate this family, it’s shit”

I can’t remember when swearing became acceptable in this house. 

I sat there with him ranting and screaming and when he was spent I just held him and talked to him, since then he has been great.  There was so much anger in there and he couldn’t get it out any other way.  My heart bleeds for him and I wish there was someway I could take over his pain.  He is only 11 and is trying to deal with emotions that he can’t identify let alone deal with.  Mark has decided to step up on the step-dad role and is taking them out on the weekend to do “dangerous Boy” stuff.  I don’t even want to know what that means.

Will has been his usual cute self and gave Mark a running commentary on his poo this morning, it kinda went like this

Will: ” No, No, said the poo, I don’t want to come out.  It is nice and warm up here in my bum.

“Ah wait I’m coming out

” AAAHHHHH I’m in the toilet in the water

” that’s better now I have room for pasta and cheese”

Wills diet at one stage was pasta and cheese and hummus sandwiches, Yesterday I was thinking how great it is now he eats more variety.  Will with his psychic abilities, read my mind and will only eat pasta and cheese again. This might have something to do with the late night shopping trip we did yesterday( o.k. it wasn’t that late but it felt like it to me) normally I do shopping on line and get it delivered after 8pm when Wills asleep, the only worse thin than taking Will shopping is him “helping” the delivery man one item, then wanting to sit in the middle of the shopping to “help” open EVERYTHING.  Anyway, I waited for Mark as my back is no better and he could push Will around in the trolley.  The problem was that we kept stopping next to things we never get, like those cheese dipper things and ready meals, all those things with preservatives and E numbers, Will kept pointing saying

” OH I love that, its my favorite, can we get it??”

so far Wills favorites include

Weight Watches tuna bake

string cheese

Anchovies

those dipper thingies

Pot noodles

I can only remember the ones that weren’t a funny choice for a 3 year old, well except the anchovies, but the point was they are things we never buy, never in a million years.  I’m not a health nut, I love chocolate, but I know what certain preservatives and E numbers do to Will and Riley so we don’t go there.  When we stopped at the pasta aisle Will’s little eyes lit up and he was speechless, all the pasta, all the choices.  We came home with 6 bags of pasta, and a soon to be very constipated little boy ( too much dairy and Will don’t mix)

Oh well my turn on the computer is at an end gotta go and rescue the hamster from Will

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