How many have you broken??

1. It is illegal to die in the Houses of Parliament (27%)

2. It is an act of treason to place a postage stamp bearing the British king or queen’s image upside-down (7%)

3. It is illegal for a woman to be topless in Liverpool except as a clerk in a tropical fish store (6%)

4. Eating mince pies on Christmas Day is banned (5%)

 5. If someone knocks on your door in Scotland and requires the use of your toilet, you are required to let them enter (4%

) 6. In the UK a pregnant woman can legally relieve herself anywhere she wants, including in a policeman’s helmet (4%)

7. The head of any dead whale found on the British coast automatically becomes the property of the King, and the tail of the Queen (3.5%)

8. It is illegal not to tell the tax man anything you do not want him to know, but legal not to tell him information you do not mind him knowing (3%)

 9. It is illegal to enter the Houses of Parliament wearing a suit of armour (3%)

10. It is legal to murder a Scotsman within the ancient city walls of York, but only if he is carrying a bow and arrow (2%)

False teeth Other bizarre foreign laws voted by those polled included:

In Ohio, it is illegal to get a fish drunk (9%) In Indonesia, the penalty for masturbation is decapitation (8%)

 A male doctor in Bahrain can only examine the genitals of a woman in the reflection of a mirror (7%)

 In Switzerland, a man may not relieve himself standing up after 10pm (6%)

It is illegal to be blindfolded while driving a vehicle in Alabama (6%)

In Florida, unmarried women who parachute on a Sunday could be jailed (6%)

Women in Vermont must obtain written permission from their husbands to wear false teeth(6%)

 In Milan, it is a legal requirement to smile at all times, except during funerals or hospital visits (5%)

 In France, it is illegal to name a pig Napoleon (4%)

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Catch UP

Thursday morning after Halloween the boys went to play in the forest behind our house.  I wasn’t too fussed as they do this all the time.  This time however,  Riley came back with one friend and was crying, saying his eyes stung.  I put a cloth on his face, took it off after a few minutes and he was like a beetroot.  After trying in vain to get any details at all about how this could have happend,  I remembered something very important.

Erik and friend No 2 were not home.

So now I was trying to work out what was going on with Riley’s face and eyes, find something to give him to take the pain/swelling away, try to keep Will and Riley calm and look for Erik and friend No 2.  They had been playing hide and seek in the Forest when Riley’s face started burning and puffing up. 

Mark ( the voice of reason) said it must be some sort of reaction ( durrr) but he had anti-histamines up stairs, Gave Riley one and he started to settle after 10 minutes, But I still had no Erik and friend. Will refused to go to the forest to look for them so a drugged sleepy  Riley and friend No 1 said they would go look for them, by this time they had been there for 1 1/2 hours.

Erik had decided enough was enough and they were making their way home. 

Erik took the 2 friends to club so Riley could stay home and sleep the tablet off.  It was a quiet day, Erik was at club, Logan was still at her friends Riley slept, Will just bounced about like he does. 

The weekend flew by and we are back to Tuesday and have started some resemblance of schooling.  Logan and Erik started on their GCSE subjects ( English Lit, Macbeth, and Sociology) today they did Latin and Riley is doing a radio history and attempting to make a Home ed pod-cast.  Tomorrow we will be doing their Saxon maths, reading our new book for book club and some sociology/Macbeth work.  I will also attempt to get Will to sit down for 5 minutes without a digital camera in his hand or printing something from the computer  I am not fussy what he does  it could be a puzzle, game, drawing, even writing his name over and over again.  I just really need him to stop bouncing and printing. 

At the moment if you ask him to do anything he answers;

Can I print it??

If I ask him to come to me I get

” Can’t, printing”

At first it was funny but we have what feels like 500 pictures of most cbeebie characters floating around the house.

For anyone that is interested I am busy reading “Sense and Sensibility” to escape from my chaotic household

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No Schooling going on here

The boys have had friends stay for the past 2 nights,  Tuesday to Wednesday it was fairly peaceful. We all carved pumpkins to put out so the neighbours knew treats were to be had at our house. Sweets were stacked high in the container, then hidden from the monsters, zombies and skeletons in my house. The excitement of Halloween hit around 5pm when it started getting dark.

There was a lovely feel as we went out to decorate the house, 2 of the neighbours were doing the same so we shouted chatted across the shrubs to each other and all the homeward bound parents knowing we would be seeing them and their children later in the night.  After donning appropriate gear all 5 children were off with me in front with Will.  And what a haul.  The boys 2 friends don’t do Halloween in their area because it’s  a bit too rough so they really had a great time, and the beauty of it was that by 8pm it was all over.  We had been given and handed out lollies for only a few hours, when the last trickle of trick or treader’s came by at 8:30pm we had run out, luckily we had plenty of the kids haul so they gave a few of there lollies to them.

Then the fun began, we had 4 kids on a sugar high.  Will was too tired for the sugar to make any difference so he went up to bed.  I walked in and I was faced with 4 people standing on the arms of the couch, One look and Erik and Riley jumped down looked at their friends and said, “we’re not aloud to stand on the couch” I had the brain wave to get help in getting the bedding down so they could all sleep in the lounge and keep upstairs relatively quiet for Will and I to go to bed.  What followed was 1 hour of mattress sledding, We turned a blind eye to it till Riley went head first into the wall.

Hospital was averted with an ice pack and some arnica.

I asked them if they wanted to watch “Shaun of the Dead” it’s more funny and gross than scary.  They chose a cartoon of a current movie and were asleep within an hour!!!

We pictured a night of bouncy hyper people who we would have to tell to be quiet every 10 minutes.  Well Mark would have to, I can sleep through anything, and often do. Mark being a very light sleeper wakes to squirrels on the  roof.

I actually managed to send 2 kids home and be able to say the HAD sleep.

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Happy halloween

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It was all about sleep.

Now I know this might sound silly, but we had been “forgetting ” to put Will to bed.  It sound insane but it isn’t.  Will gets into a happy groove at night and plays really well, then all of a sudden we realise it’s 10pm and we have to drag a very grumpy ( because he is so overtired) Will upstairs kicking and screaming.  What a joy, I wont even go into how restless his sleep has been.  This is kind of my excuse so forgive the somewhat weak argument.

Will is the only little boy in the house, so when he plays well we sort of “forget” that he is a little boy that really really needs sleep, and not a teenager that thrives on late nights. Last Friday I was so tired, I made a plan to do a

toilet

teeth

books and

sleep

routine with Will, I warned him bed time was in 5 minutes.  Then he happily went and did all the above. I sat with him in the family bed till he went to sleep. We have been doing it all weekend and so far Will is so much happier and so are we, his night time dancing has settled right down.

The boys have also changed bunk beds so now Erik is on the bottom and Riley is on top.  For some reason this has made Erik sleep much better.  So much better in fact that today he sat with Riley and showed/taught him how to read an analog watch.  Riley has wanted a watch with a face not a digital time for awhile, but no matter what I did he didn’t get it.  Today after a few minutes it finally clicked and he has been happily announcing the time every 15-20 minutes since then. 

Life is great when it all comes together.

Oh and on the weekend we went to Trafalgar square to see the Diwali celebrations but that’s for another post

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But you want us to use our imagination

That is the response I got this morning after I went for a walk with mark and Will and left the older 3 at home.

Why did I get this response??

I got back to find a circular knitting needle taped to a walkie talkie , this was a bomb.

And best of all

My cordless phone had the aerial removed and was nowhere to be found.

Why??

it was a grenade and the aerial was the pin

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What’s going on here and goodbye co-sleeping

The kids are still in Holiday mode, I can’t get anyone to do anything.

All the boys will do is xbox, I can’t even grasp some far out concept of how this is educational, I might of come up with some imaginary argument a few years ago now it is old and boring.

I can only get Logan to read at her leisure.  This is great,but, her and Erik have a list a mile long of catch up work for GCSE’s.  After a mini argument with Logan where I once again got the ” Well when am I going to use this in life” I answered back

” I don’t care if you never use it but I want you to do it, remember it, pass a test on it and get into college, Got it!! ”

She still hasn’t picked up Macbeth though.

I am feeling deflated at the moment and worry that they will aspire to nothing and end up working in McDonald or something worse.

 I need to talk to someone who can say ” yes I feel the same way” but at group no one ever says anything bad it is always rosy.  I wouldn’t put them into school but I need a plan to get them motivated again.

I think this is all stemming from Will and his inability to sleep nice and almost still at the moment. He has never had his own bed and I have happily fed and  him held him to sleep.   He self weaned awhile ago and now I want him to get the hint he needs to sleep in his own bed.

I spend the night with him wrapped around my neck.  That or lying across my belly.

Will is having a great comfy sleep every night, so he tells me every morning.

At least one of us is

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